Breaking The Rules: In The Name Of Love
by Raine Lionheart
Summary: ON HIATUS. [AU] After Jonas watches the children play war, Fiona offers to go on a bicycle ride with him. For some reason, he accepts, and puts into motion the events that will lead to a very different future, for himself and the community.


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Disclaimer: _The Giver_ is property of Lois Lowry, as are the characters, phrases, places and objects. I have no intention of making profit from this story. As well, please do not compare this story to Lois Lowry's work, as we have unique writing styles (I hope) and do not complain that I have ruined the story with this fan fiction. Thank you.

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Breaking the Rules  
(In the Name of Love)

A/N: This starts from the middle of chapter 17, after Jonas watches the children play war.

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The Rules Discarded

"Do you want to go for a ride along the river, Jonas?" Fiona asked, biting her lip with nervousness.

Jonas looked at her. She was so lovely. For a fleeting instant he thought he would like nothing better than to ride peacefully along the river path, laughing and talking with his gentle female friend. But he knew that such times had been taken from him now.

Yet he felt something within him tell him that they had not been taken. Not completely anyway. The days of his childhood had not receded far enough away from him now that he couldn't pass up an opportunity to speak with Fiona again.

"All right then," Jonas said, mounting his bicycle once more. Asher trudged off, still irritated with Jonas no doubt, and Fiona took to her bicycle. They rode at an easy pace towards the river.

"Are you all right, Jonas?" Fiona asked quietly.

Jonas wanted, seriously, to answer that he was indeed fine. However, it would be a lie. And while he had been empowered to lie, he did not want to lie to his friend.

"No," he told her. "I'm not fine. I've…"

He could not think of the words to use to describe what he was feeling, without discussing his training, which would be a breach of his rules. He frowned as he braked. The bike skidded to a stop. Fiona, somewhat surprised, braked as well and walked her bicycle back to him.

"What is it Jonas?" she asked.

Jonas looked away from his female friend. It was difficult for him to look into her soft green eyes and not be able to tell her what was troubling him.

"I-I can't speak of it," he said hastily. "It would go against my rules."

"Oh… I apologize for--"

"No," he cut her off. He expected her to look affronted, as he had broken a rule regarding Rudeness. However, she did not.

"I just … this is so frustrating."

The word was rarely used, so it was only natural for Fiona to look somewhat concerned for her male friend.

"Perhaps we should go back to the community," she suggested.

Once more, Jonas shook his head and said, "No."

Something inside of him, the same something that had made him come here with Fiona, that something made told him that it didn't matter now.

"Fiona, I need you to promise me something."

She nodded, uncertainly at first, then confidently.

"I need you to promise," he said slowly, "that you will not tell anyone what I am going to tell you. I am going to break my rules in doing this."

Fiona looked nonplus by this and was about to speak when Jonas said, "Please. I need to tell someone."

She hesitated, looking around to see if there were any persons walking their way. Finally, she nodded. Jonas was filling with relief.

"All right," he said. "Follow me."

He mounted his bicycle for the third time and, with Fiona in tow, rode off.

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He took her to the bridge, which was empty most of the day. The children of the Community were too busy to sit on the bridge and gaze down the river. The adults were too busy working and had no reason to be on the bridge.

Jonas stood behind the railing, leaning against it as he spoke to Fiona about his training, about the Giver and the memories, good and bad, which he had been selected to absorb. About the pain he was forced to endure, the loneliness and the sadness, yet the pleasure and the warmth.

And when he could no longer speak, Jonas looked to Fiona, gazing into her eyes, seeing the sadness she felt, the slight pity at his words, the shock of not only him telling her this, but the horrors he had seen. They were virtually unknown to her, the thoughts and ideas he had lay before her. He felt guilty almost at telling her, and nervous about breaking the rule.

Finally, she said, "Jonas… why?"

"Excuse me? I apolog--"

"Why," she interrupted abruptly, "must you endure this?"

She seemed to notice her rudeness and began to say, "I apologize for--"

However, he too cut her off and said, "Please, Fiona, don't apologize to me. You don't need to."

She bit her lip again, her face etched with conflicting thoughts, ranging, Jonas guessed, from the insignificant rule breaking to the larger scale infractions.

She then asked again, "Why?"

"Because," he said heavily, "they want someone to hold the memories." He remembered having this discussion with the Giver very recently. "When the Committee of Elders is faced with a problem, they need to be advised by the Giver, whomever he may be."

"But… but there's so much suffering."

Jonas could only nod.

"How can you live with it?" Fiona asked softly. Jonas could see her eyes dampening, which was a shock for him. Crying was virtually unknown in the Community.

"The Giver transmits memories to me of happiness and joy…"

He thought deeply for a moment, then decided on the subject.

"And love."

He expected Fiona to know about love, the obsolete word his parents had chided him about earlier. But she did not.

"What is love?" she asked, her face questioningly bright.

Jonas thought deep down into his memories, for the simplest explanation to her question. What is love?

"Love… love is a beautiful thing Fiona. Love… love is the feeling that you have for someone or something that means very much to you.

"I guess that love is what keeps you working with the Old day after day. You have a love for the old. Asher has a love for fun. Benjamin has a love for science.

"Love… is a warm feeling," he concluded, looking at Fiona.

She nodded, as though she understood what he meant.

"I can feel love because I've experienced it. And…" He looked away, a bit ashamed. "I've stopped taking my Stirrings pill."

Fiona gasped, but Jonas said, "It just feels wrong to take it now. It feels immoral. I like the feelings I get when I don't take the pill.

They were silent for a matter of moments before Fiona asked, quietly again, "What do you love Jonas?"

Jonas, somewhat shocked, had to think for a moment. He knew what - or moreover, whom - he loved. Only he had two ways to think about it.

"I have two different loves. I have love for you and Asher, and my sister and parents… but I also have a deeper love for you," he admitted. "This love is different. I mean, I care about Asher, but I care for you more."

Jonas had no idea where his words had come from. He looked away from his female friend, his face warm. But Fiona put a hand on his shoulder.

"Jonas… Jonas, do you think…"

She stopped speaking, but Jonas urged her to continue.

"Do you think that, maybe, I should stop taking _my_ pill?"

Jonas shrugged. "Do _you _want to stop taking it?"

She hesitated, then nodded.

"I want to know what it's like for you. But," she said, "what if I dream?"

A question that had been nagging at Jonas for weeks now finally rose to his lips.

"Fiona, when you were given your rules as a Caretaker of the Old, were you empowered to lie?"

Fiona opened her mouth, as if to express her shock at the question he had asked, but instead, she replied, "Yes, I was."

Jonas said, "Well, if you have dreams about the Stirring, can you not just lie about it?"

Fiona nodded, but said, "It'd be wrong."

"Telling you all of this was wrong," he pointed out.

And again, they were both silent. Finally, Jonas said, "We should probably go to our dwellings. It looks late."

Fiona agreed and was about to mount her bicycle when Jonas said, "Wait a moment, will you?"

He looked around, making sure that nobody was watching, then he said, "May I try something? It might be a little bit odd."

Fiona eyed Jonas warily, but then nodded.

Summoning his courage, Jonas put a hand to Fiona's face and stroked it softly. Then, as he had seen in a memory the day before, he leaned in to Fiona and pressed his lips against hers.

Immediately, he felt an explosion from within him. An overwhelming feeling entered him as he closed his eyes, and his insides froze up, sending a shock down his spine.

Jonas pulled away from Fiona a moment later and opened his eyes. Fiona was wide-eyed, shocked almost. Jonas averted his eyes, but Fiona whispered, "Wow…"

He looked her in the eyes again and said, "That was amazing."

They gazed at one another, both shocked by his actions, before finally looking away.

They pedaled to Fiona's dwelling, where Jonas felt his spirits sink as she began to walk away. She stopped halfway to the garage before turning and coming back to Jonas.

"I'm going to do it," she told him. "I want to feel what you feel. And I want to experience it with you."

She put her hand on his and said, "Let's meet at the bridge again on Saturday. We have time from training."

Jonas nodded. It was four days from now. Fiona would have stopped taking the pill long enough to experience a change.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Jonas said.

Fiona treated him with a beautiful smile and then she retreated to her dwelling.

Jonas watched as she went through the door, the rode off, his heart pumping in anticipation.

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A/N: I'm probably going to continue this, if some of the reviews are decent. No flames please. If you don't like it, send me a plausible reason why you don't like it. Not "IT SUX". Although I trust that most of you are smart enough and inclined to be courteous.


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